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/r/nottheonion
submitted 10 days ago byAlwaysRealRADDish
3.4k points
10 days ago
Now they're a primary source
144 points
10 days ago
Saves time with releases, that’s for sure.
1.2k points
10 days ago*
Technically it would be the security guards that would the primary source:
Lah said she and CNN’s Jason Kravarik were inside City Hall when thieves smashed their way into a car being watched by security guards and made off with items including her passport. According to Lah, who posted a photo of a smashed rear window, the thieves were gone in under four seconds.
Security guards hired to watch the CNN team’s rental car and equipment car reportedly gave chase, but the crooks pulled away in a black Infiniti with California plates.
And I would not be surprised if the getaway vehicle was also stolen.
Lah worried she wouldn’t be able to fly back to her home base in L.A. because her identification was in one of the stolen bags. According to the reporter, Southwest Airlines said it isn’t uncommon for travelers to have their bags stolen in San Francisco and gave her a plane ticket after a security check.
Bruh, when the airlines expects travelers to have their belongings stolen.
508 points
10 days ago
Bruh, when the airlines expects travelers to have their belongings stolen.
welcome to San Francisco
149 points
9 days ago
Been to SF once
Was robbed in almost the same way
28 points
9 days ago
That’s so crazy and a bummer. I’ve been going to SF since I was a kid, and I was just there in November last year. Never once been robbed, and I’ve been in all the ritzy and ratty areas. 🤷🏻♂️
19 points
9 days ago
I live here and have never been robbed or had my car broken into. IMO the reason why is that I - don’t park in touristy areas. If i’m going out drinking I uber, so I never need to. - don’t keep stuff in my car because my stuff is in my house
That isn’t to discredit the serious issue of car theft. They are targeting tourists that leave their laptop bags in their rental. I think people just might have a view that it’s an awful place to live, but I think it might more accurately be a bad place to visit
17 points
9 days ago
I’ve been once too. I just walked around so no car to break into lol.
12 points
9 days ago
Funny you say that.
While I was on the phone with Enterprise, we saw a dude get his phone stolen out of his hands.
47 points
9 days ago
I mean you're going to get the same answer anywhere. Travelers are disproportionately robbed almost anywhere they would go. They're considered prime targets both in terms of the likely haul and their vulnerability.
Even cops disproportionately target trourists because they expect them not to fight tickets.
39 points
9 days ago
To an extent, yes. But SF has this reputation for a good reason. I mean, I love going to Memphis, but I also know it’s the only town I’ve been straight up robbed in. Won’t keep me from going again, but I’m wary.
10 points
9 days ago
I'm not surprised. I've been to Memphis once (from Nashville) and I fucking hated it lol. Like the night life is awesome and at but a lot of it isn't something that I can't get in Nashville.
24 points
9 days ago
no but san francisco lately is ON SOMETHING when it comes to vehicle break in tourist areas. like, you're almost guaranteed to get your car broken into if there's anything visible, valuable or not, if you park in tourist hotspot
it's exceptionally bad and worse than anywhere i've been anywhere else
3 points
9 days ago
Happened to me. Rental car was towed illegally by a scummy tow company. He claimed I was parked illegally and spit a number of different ordinances at me. When I looked them up later I found out they had nothing to do with towing and I had indeed been towed illegally. What am I going to do though? Sue him in small claims court when I'm 1700 miles away?
3 points
9 days ago
Remember not to wear flowers in your hair
5 points
9 days ago
Should I store them in my pants?
4 points
9 days ago
Yes. But your pants may get stolen, so it's a risk
5 points
9 days ago
Jokes on them, I was headed to Folsom Street anyway.
139 points
10 days ago
I'm curious how they were able to quickly smash the window, grab the stuff and get away with hired security. I take it they were on a break
198 points
10 days ago
Glass breakers work instantly. Check out some of Mark Rober's videos to see how fast it can be. I'm not surprised at all.
59 points
10 days ago
Check out what cracked bits of ceramic spark plugs do to car windows.
Straight ninja rocks
17 points
9 days ago
Walk by with one of those spring-loaded window breakers, hit the window, reach in, get in getaway car.
4 points
9 days ago
These are professional thieves that do it all day every day for their living. Theyre extremely fast
3 points
9 days ago
A center point punch breaks glass instantly.
17 points
10 days ago
That’s why you steal someone else’s id to get on the plane. When in Rome.
64 points
10 days ago*
Dude the laws have gotten too strict on air travel. In the 70s you could roll up, basically throw your money down on the runway and walk on a plane. We need to get back to that. Cockpits locked anyways, and any passengers know you gotta swarm a hijacker these days
32 points
9 days ago
I’m ready to fireboard a terry.
13 points
9 days ago
Do what to a what?
19 points
9 days ago
Makes two of us. I means that's what happened in recent hijacking's attempts. The shoe bomber and underwear bomber both got mobbed.
7 points
9 days ago
Especially if he's gettin' froggy
3 points
9 days ago
Thats the combat seat
82 points
9 days ago
TSA misses most security checks anyway. It's all for show
4 points
9 days ago
I mean, the deterrence has to play a pretty major factor in reducing crime, surely
8 points
9 days ago
It's a jobs program for the otherwise unemployable. The security theater aspect is only an afterthought.
9 points
9 days ago
Exactly what I said. It’s a government jobs program. Oh are jobs for the quarter down, TSA hiring 200,000 employees.
8 points
9 days ago
I've said that for a long time, how when I was very small people could walk up, pay cash for a one way ticket to somewhere, not show any ID, and no questions were asked. (Assuming they didn't look completely off the wall or whatever.)
6 points
9 days ago
Private planes still work this way. Some dude posted a pic of him carrying a sig on a private jet the other day. As long as the charter holder grants permission or something like that it's fine. Most hunting parties have guns and ammo on the plane with them too. Sometimes in separate locations sometimes not.
6 points
9 days ago
This is standard at all US airports. Friend lost his license while out of state, called up the airport to see what to do and it was actually an easy process. Obviously international is a whole other story.
2 points
9 days ago
Friend of mine left her wallet in her hotel room in Vegas. Didn’t realize until she was already dropped off at the airport 15 mins before her flight. Got through no problem.
Just more security theater at work.
2 points
9 days ago
Why do you need a passport to travel within the Country?
2 points
9 days ago
She's a reporter who likely travels internationally often enough, and likely on short enough notice, that it's always with her bags. So she lost her passport (big deal obviously) and ID (presumably in her wallet) leaving her with no ID.
12 points
10 days ago
Beat me to it. Bravo.
2 points
9 days ago
holds microphone up to mirror
1.4k points
10 days ago
They hired security guards to watch their stuff and still was robbed…
700 points
10 days ago
Yet, there was time to take a pic of the getaway vehicle?? Sounds like someone used Groupon to find their security…
165 points
10 days ago
“Oh yeah, you’re with the Groupon package? That … only gets you our DGAF tier guards.”
65 points
9 days ago
“By the way, there’ll be an additional charge for the photography. If you’d like any digital &/or printed copies of the photos, just let our Groupon staff know how many & we’ll provide a quote!”
22 points
10 days ago
Ordered from wish.com
3 points
9 days ago
Well in SF even the police can’t chase them if they go over the speed limit. Anyways if they get caught then our judges just let them back out. It’s nuts. We just got a new aggressive DA but even they are failing. It’s tough.
227 points
10 days ago
Security guards are just for security theater to act as deterrent against criminals.
78 points
10 days ago
Seems like just standing next to the car should have gotten the job done. What the hell were they doing?
14 points
9 days ago
Cocaine in the alley.
57 points
10 days ago*
News crew security is usuall no joke. During the Floyd riots some dude tried to mace one of them and got smoked like a joint.
34 points
9 days ago
That's more "executive protection" than "security guard", though.
At that point you're basically hiring one or a very small number of mercenaries, not someone who is there to be seen so as to deter crime, and to call the police if a crime happens.
13 points
9 days ago
There was a guy (that was clearly former military) that disarmed a protestor that had pulled a gun out of a cop car during that same time. It definitely can vary but some of those guys are very serious
108 points
10 days ago
That's TSA and retail security. Private security is supposed to be the real headcrackers, if you get the right guys.
41 points
9 days ago
[deleted]
8 points
9 days ago
Gettin the wrong guys. You nerds need some of them rapper security.
16 points
9 days ago
In SF they’d probably be the only ones in danger of getting arrested if they physically intervened.
6 points
9 days ago
Not to mention, these guys are probably paid sweet fuck all. Doubt it's enough to risk your own skin in any way.
3 points
9 days ago
Private security a lot of times is a bunch of guys who tried to be cops but even the cops didn't want them. They tend to be very very super-macho type guys who are high on what little power they have. They will crack your skull in a heart beat just to make themselves feel like they have real power. I'd mess w/a cop before I messed with any armed private security.
6 points
9 days ago
“Stop, or I’ll say ‘stop’ again!”
71 points
10 days ago
Where were the security guards? Across the street in Starbucks?
23 points
10 days ago
Those police cutouts are surprisingly realistic these days.
41 points
10 days ago
Security is only as efficient as the law allows it to be. If you live in a state where violence is punished with prison but property crime is tolerated, their hands are bound.
24 points
10 days ago
You people are delusional if you think California law requires you to let someone smash the window on a car.
7 points
10 days ago
Sounds like the thieves had an inside man
7 points
10 days ago
"No guarantees. Here's your bill."
1k points
10 days ago
"Hand over your wallet and nobody gets hurt!"
"ok, but real quick could you tell us your full name, age, and what drove you to a life of crime?"
297 points
10 days ago
And fill lot this release form
165 points
10 days ago
Two males who would identify themselves only as ‘Nah’ and ‘Stop asking me questions
71 points
10 days ago
10 years later:
"We met with sodium hydride to see where he is now."
14 points
10 days ago
Took me a second, but worth the wait. Well played.
107 points
10 days ago
You can have my cash, but first you know I gotta ask,
what made you want to live this kind of life?
58 points
10 days ago
He said there ain’t no rest for the wicked.
36 points
10 days ago
Money don't grow on trees, he continued.
42 points
10 days ago
I got gills today, I’ve got moths to breed.
13 points
10 days ago
And ain't nothin in this world for freeee
7 points
10 days ago
No, I cant slow clown
23 points
10 days ago
The perpetrator reportedly had both bills to pay AND mouths to feed
2 points
9 days ago
I'm just disappointed in the lack of politeness. We have manners out here.
358 points
10 days ago
Is this considered a method acting version of journalism?
117 points
10 days ago
34 points
9 days ago
I am disappointed Gonzo journalism doesn't involve people being interviewed by a Muppet.
7 points
9 days ago
Gonzo was named after the journalism style because of his wild personality.
13 points
10 days ago
Would have to act as real robbers for that
11 points
10 days ago
Only if they aren't method acting for the victims.
9 points
10 days ago
Experiential Reporting
22 points
10 days ago
Haha perhaps…I guess it’s better than the amateur improv most “journalists” seem to utilize these days.
126 points
10 days ago
Happened right outside city hall in broad daylight. Pure craziness
22 points
9 days ago
I live nearby, they parked next to city hall iirc which is next to a shelter that houses 500 homeless people 80% of which are hard substance users according to the director that I’ve talked to. They should have used one of the numerous parking garages. Car crime is fucked right now.
5 points
9 days ago
You think those homeless people had a black Infiniti like the article describes?
2 points
9 days ago
Is it only if you have a bag in your car or they’ll smash for anything? I’ve heard some folks leave their cars unlocked and empty for that reason
2 points
9 days ago
My friend lives in the bay area and said someone broke into his car for some pillows once
26 points
9 days ago
Yeah the rise in crime in the last two years is no joke.
3 points
9 days ago*
What’s crazy is this isn’t even new really, though the overall increase in theft is recent. SF City hall area has been a shit hole for a long time. It’s a block away from one of the worst neighborhoods in the city, the Tenderloin.
124 points
10 days ago
That is top notch investigative reporting
13 points
10 days ago*
This is some bottom-notch opsec.
Edit: Wow, never mind, they had security guards and still got robbed. That's messed up.
2 points
9 days ago
Journalism ain't dead after all!
57 points
10 days ago
This level of commitment in journalism is admirable.
276 points
10 days ago
Of course it’s San Francisco lol
74 points
10 days ago
San Francisco sure has changed a bunch since its Full House days
9 points
9 days ago
Yeah, man. It's like... whatever happened to predictability?
14 points
9 days ago
SF in the 90s was stellar.
59 points
9 days ago
Highest crime and murder rate of the 1900s, but go off
75 points
9 days ago
im amazed at people's ability to selectively remember the past. no, there wasn't less crime in the 90s, you just weren't being exposed to it on your phone 24/7
14 points
9 days ago
‘I lived in pac heights, yes why do you ask?’
3 points
9 days ago
Its literally lower now than ever. Well besides 2020 lockdown when no one was out. Still high but lowest in SF history.
7 points
9 days ago
the per-capita murder rate in San Francisco was twice as high in 1995 as it was in 2022
32 points
9 days ago
Was just traveling through the bay area last week and my rental car was broken into and our backpacks were stolen. Wish I would have known beforehand that it was such an issue. The cops said sometimes they specifically target rental cars because you can identify one with the sticker on the windshield
13 points
9 days ago
Wish I would have known beforehand that it was such an issue.
How's life been under your rock?
15 points
9 days ago
I don't keep up on bay area news, since I don't live in or around California. Thank you for your very sincere concern
2 points
9 days ago
Have you heard of the glitter bomb guy, Mark Rober? He did a version with car break ins in San Fran.
86 points
10 days ago
"We are the most progressive city in the world!"
124 points
9 days ago
Your duffel bag is currently progressing down the street without you.
30 points
9 days ago
Progressive when it comes to letting criminals off free yet conservative when it comes to housing, corporate responsibility, and transportation. Worst of both worlds.
21 points
9 days ago
It shows
16 points
10 days ago
but the crooks pulled away in a black Infiniti
Have they seen the way normal Infiniti drivers are? Now imagine one fleeing the scene of a crime they just committed
19 points
9 days ago
Lol of course it is San Fran
34 points
10 days ago
I guess they never studied under the tutelage of JJ Bittenbinder’ Street Smarts Course
14 points
10 days ago
He was a man most acquainted with misery. He could look at a child and guess the price of their coffin.
2 points
9 days ago
"Never let dem take yew to ah second locashun."
8 points
9 days ago
“You’d best get used to reporting street crime stories. You’re in one!”
57 points
10 days ago
“Beautiful” San Francisco - where the dogs step in human shit!
170 points
10 days ago
If you arrest people and let them go immediately what's the deterrent?
119 points
10 days ago*
[deleted]
123 points
10 days ago
Actually, of all the various theories of crime causation and mitigation the ONE (count em, ONE) repeatable and demonstrable thing we know about lowering crime rates is they go down as the perceived odds of being caught and receiving SOME punishment go up. So any time anyone proposes anything that reduces the odds of getting caught committing a crime or receiving any punishment at all for the crime you can expect the crime rate to go up.
Source- criminal justice degree that was worthless except to give me depression
9 points
9 days ago
That's why the War on Drugs was such a success! Just make life as shitty as possible for people who have a small amount of drugs and poof! Its all better now.
16 points
9 days ago
There’s a huge diminishing return on that as well and most criminals also do not expect to get caught. We have the largest prison population on the planet and an insanely high recidivism rate. There should be consequences but we also don’t give people the tools to actually build a life and become “productive members of society” once they’re released
5 points
9 days ago
I agree, solving recidivism would improve the country immeasurably
6 points
9 days ago
Or just lock them away forever (at least after many repeat offenses). If you really care about nothing and continue to cause destruction, there’s no hope for you and you’re not deserving of living in a civilized society.
37 points
10 days ago
Crime is absolutely going up in San Francisco because their is no punishment. The simplest explanation is that a person can't commit a crime if they're in jail
8 points
9 days ago
Sounds like a good recipe to just have a revolving door. We don’t do anything to reform criminals or address any of the systemic issues. People committing crimes like theft I’m guessing largely are not financially secure and are looking to make money. Having a record makes finding gainful employment more difficult in a big way - how do you expect someone to build a new life after going through our justice system?
4 points
9 days ago
Crime is absolutely going up in San Francisco because their is no punishment. The simplest explanation is that a person can't commit a crime if they're in jail
Yeah I really don't understand the better life argument because anyone whose from SF Bay Area and has seen this shit happening and sees the type of people who commit these kinda crimes. They're not homeless, they're not "struggling", they're people who see easy opportunities to commit a crime that has very little risk to them. 90% of the videos of smash and grabs, or snatch and grabs, or armed robberies...these dudes are decked out in new Jordans, BAPE, designed jeans, etc in high end getaway cars. You can make the case everything I listed is stolen, but man what the fuck are the odds that every single thing was stolen for everyone single one of them? Even if they were stolen, look at where the priorities are. It's not a homeless guy stealing food, stealing groceries, stealing essential home goods.
I get that there are people struggling due to displacement and rising cost of living, but these people are not that and the spike in petty crime is a clear lack of deterrence.
25 points
10 days ago
I feel like that may be (partially) true for petty crime but definitely does not apply to major crimes. Murder for example. Or rape.
59 points
10 days ago
"It may work for the type of crime that makes up 95% of all crime, but it wont work for the super rare crime and therefore it isn't worth trying."
10 points
10 days ago
Or white collar fraud like the Elizabeth Holmeses and SBFs of the world.
2 points
10 days ago
Which is why those major crimes are still tried as normal.
2 points
10 days ago
Or government corruption supporting monopolies
8 points
10 days ago
Deterrents absolutely work for 99% of people. The beautiful thing about jailing people is that it's a deterrent and separates repeat offenders from future victims.
If it was all about quality of life, middle and upper class people wouldn't commit any crime, but they still do.
2 points
9 days ago
lots of poor people don't commit crimes
9 points
10 days ago
The deterrent is the court trial and sentencing afterwards? Just because they don't keep you until the trial doesn't mean there's no consequence. Also, how is the situation any different when their grandma bails them out to remain free until trial instead?
7 points
10 days ago
Well generally it’s when you put them in prison, after a trial
22 points
10 days ago
Not robbed, it’s burglary.
9 points
10 days ago
Exactly you would think journalist would know the difference.
2 points
9 days ago
[deleted]
2 points
9 days ago
Vehicle burglary has its own category, because it's trespassing in a vehicle combined with theft
107 points
10 days ago
Anyone who leaves their passport in their car, for any amount of time, is an idiot.
7 points
9 days ago
But then they would have lost it when they were mugged in the venue! /s
15 points
10 days ago
Agreed lol.
5 points
9 days ago
This comment screams of someone living somewhere that has accepted crime and accepting their life going poorly
Don't think millions of Scandinavians are idiots for leaving their babies alone in the stroller outside sleeping.
2 points
9 days ago
I live nearby, they parked next to city hall iirc which is next to a shelter that houses 500 homeless people in two apartment 80% of which are hard substance users according to the director that I’ve talked to. They should have used one of the numerous parking garages.
2 points
9 days ago
My town has had a lot of recent reports of people having their wallets stolen out of their cars, some parked overnight.
7 points
10 days ago
Reminds me of the World Series of Dice.
3 points
9 days ago
Scrolling this far down is what makes me believe that Reddit is full of young people. Lol. That was the first thing I thought of too.
3 points
9 days ago
ASHY LARRY!!! 🤣🤣🤣
2 points
9 days ago
"Now get buck nekkid!" 🔫
7 points
9 days ago
I thought letting prisoners go was backed by science?
19 points
10 days ago
Reporter:”So, Mr. Jenkins, they say that this neighborhood is bad. Can you shed some light on the problems here?”
Jenkins: cocks hammer back “First of all, my name is Leeroy, and second of all I need your phone and wallet.”
52 points
10 days ago
Of course it’s San Francisco.
Here I am waiting on Reddit folks that maintain crime isn’t a problem in the city, governmental policy on crime there is fine, and is no worse than it was in the past.
18 points
10 days ago
Just do yourselves a favor, stay out of SF and Oakland, they are both pits these days.
30 points
10 days ago
I knew this was San Francisco before opening the article. I used to like visiting that city, but it's turned into a crime filled toilet.
5 points
9 days ago
Does someone have a source explaining why crime is so bad in San Francisco that isn't overly politicized?
6 points
9 days ago
Violent crimes are at their lowest for decades (besides 2020 lockdown).
Larceny is def up over the last 5 years.
Other crimes like burglary and car theft are a bit higher than 5 years ago.
Really, theres a fuckton of contributing factors.
We had a particularly crappy DA that basically made it impossible to prosecute anything besides violent crimes. So cops and people just kinda gave up trying.
5 points
9 days ago
It was a mostly peaceful robbing
4 points
10 days ago
Itssss like raaaain on your wedding dayyyy
10 points
10 days ago
Seems like they were burgled, not robbed. Sounds like semantics, but there’s a big difference.
6 points
9 days ago
robbed in the shithole that is san francisco. what a surprise
3 points
10 days ago
I've wondered about something like this happening to news reporters in dicey neighborhoods.
3 points
10 days ago
"Lah worried she wouldn’t be able to fly back to her home base in L.A. because her identification was in one of the stolen bags"
3 points
9 days ago
Regular day in Brasil
3 points
9 days ago
Haven't opened the article yet, but I'm gonna assume this was in San Francisco.
. . . Yep
17 points
10 days ago
They get away with this because the SFPD is a combination of inept and corrupt.
Inept: Got catalytic converters stolen off of squad cars
Corrupt: Refused to help breakup a theft ring just like this one as they were engaged in a work stoppage to make the previous DA look bad I personally supported a lot of the previous DAs policies but he was wayyyy too much of a rookie firebrand trying to make a name for himself rather than doing the full job of DA entails. Regardless, crime has spiked even more after his recall, which means it wasn’t his policies causing or exacerbating crime.
Now there’s a shitload of other factors too, like insane economic pressures from the bay areas cost of living, the police commission banning high speed chases (so crooks just start driving recklessly if a cop chases them for low level crimes, but they’ll still chase for violent crimes), SF housing being unaffordable for anyone but FAANG engineers means that the people who might become cops can’t live here, causing a hiring crunch, the list goes on and on and on
It’s why I bang away on housing so much, because all the rest of our problems flow from that.
3 points
9 days ago
That first link. It's... It's amazing. So glad I left SF when I did.
2 points
9 days ago
IMO it's the second thing that's more or less happening now. The car burglary like in the article isn't tweakers, it's organized crime. The cops need to find the hydra and cut off the head, so to speak. People like to bitch about California's and San Francisco's liberal policies causing this, and while I agree that they're causing other crime issues, this is straight up organized crime that the cops are refusing to address/investigate. It's so, so corrupt and fucked.
8 points
10 days ago
i wonder if they'll report honestly about the perpetrators
12 points
10 days ago
I bet they were a minority demographic.
15 points
9 days ago
Dude!! You know the rules of Reddit! You only can say bad things about white people from the US.
2 points
10 days ago
"Give me your shoes too!"
2 points
10 days ago
They forgor 💀
2 points
10 days ago
Almost but not quite ironic.
2 points
10 days ago
This is like the Car Wash Change Thief Action Squad getting their change stolen while filling a reenactment of Car Wash Change Theft.
2 points
10 days ago
Thats why the #1 rule is Dont Make Yourself The Story.
2 points
9 days ago
They were not robbed they had their car broken into
2 points
9 days ago
God damn you know San Fransisco is a shithole when even I as a non-American read the headline and thought "It was San Fransisco wasn't it?"
2 points
9 days ago
Vehicle broken into while they were inside city hall. Not a robbery.
2 points
8 days ago
Thela hun Ginjeet
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