So, I [23m] was with my gf for a year and a half and throughout the relationship we had some issues. Go figure. It was mainly due to a lack of communication at its core. There were many moments where I was left in the dark on things going on in her life and why she was either distant or didn't simply talk to me for hours at a time. I always gave her the benefit of the doubt that she was trying, but this was probably me trying to justify her own actions in my head and to make myself feel better. Which can go either positively or negatively.
I never really felt appreciated in the relationship in its entirety, but I did love her, regardless. She made me feel comfortable, but also gave me a lot of stress due to her poor communication. I tried many times to bring this up to encourage being more open about things and trying to initiate a healthy way to resolve our problems, but there were underlying things in her life that held her back.
Her home life was complicated to say the least, with an overbearing mother and parents who never gave her the appreciation she deserved and skills to healthily deal with her problems. Long story short, she goes into these bouts of depression, and with a lack of communication this weighs on me because I don\t know what's going on or what I should do in the situation. And recently, for the past three months, she's gone through a lot of depression combined with being busy with school that she isolated herself. This was typically a thing she went in and out of, but for 3 months this began to negatively affect me, and I noticed this trend happening, so I tried to see what I could do to help, but in a roundabout way the only thing I could do was to give her space.
As each month passed, it got worse for her and barely seeing her or talking took its toll on me. We met 4 times over the past 3 months, and the last time was very recently when we broke up. She brought it up and how her mental health was affecting the both of us and that it would be better if we broke up, in a way she took the agency away from me to choose to stay, but I also felt that pressing her to be in the relationship would not be the best thing for her considering all the other things she has to deal with. I certainly wanted to stay, out of love, I even tried to make a compromise, but she didn't feel that she was capable of sticking to that due to her mental health. I then realised that if she couldn't help herself, then continuing this cycle of not talking or seeing each other really weighs on both of us, and I didn't outright agree to the breakup, but I accepted it as something that needed to happen.
I tried my hardest to there for her, but in the end, we realised that this wasn't healthy for either of us, and I really wish she would take the steps to help herself. We're still friends, and I do appreciate her being in my life in any capacity, but I feel I can probably be a better friend for her in a time of need, than a boyfriend. I've been wondering if I gave up on her a little too quickly, and in retrospect I think maybe I could've stayed, but going through those moments were really difficult for me, and if I did stay, how much longer would I be in that bad place mentally. In a roundabout way I guess i'm asking you folks if I did the right thing by agreeing to break up? considering everything I mentioned.
TL;DR Gf and I broke up because her mental health was affecting the both of us, and I feel like I gave up on her despite how much I tried to salvage things.