Hi everyone,

u/kinda_alone here to ask for your support for Maui.

First of all, I wanted to thank you all for making r/tifu such a special place. When I started this community 10-ish years ago, I had no idea how big it would get. It’s been incredible to watch this community grow with you all. It’s quite humbling. Thank you.

As many of you know, the island of Maui has been devastated by wildfires this past week, which completely wiped out the town of Lahaina. This is now the deadliest U.S. fire in the last 100 years. Countless homes have been lost, families broken, and livelihoods destroyed. Recovery is going to take years, and Maui will never be the same.

The community needs help. Water, food, first aid, clothes, housing, etc. will become critical over the coming days to weeks to even months as the island begins its long road to recovery. As someone with Maui roots, I’m asking you for help. Please give what you can and share the below with others who may be able to support. Every dollar can help save a life.

The following are a few of the official charities who are working tirelessly to save Maui lives. They, and others, need your support.

World Central Kitchen Maui Fun Chef José Andrés’ emergency pop up kitchen. An incredible charity which is miraculously one of the first charities to any disaster area, providing the food survivors and first responders need.

Maui Foodbank Providing food and supplies to survivors.

Maui Strong Fund Community fund focused on rapid response and recovery.

Again, every dollar helps. If you have any ties to Hawaii, have ever been to Maui, or even just appreciate the pics that pop up on r/earthporn, please help a community in need.

Thank you.

kinda_alone

TL;DR: please donate to help save lives

This is an update of my original post.

1. My gf and I managed to defuse the post threesome tension between the two of us.
2. The awkward atmosphere at work between my gf, the other guy, and the guy in the middle of this mess, aka yours truly, eventually became less awkward when the three of us finally agreed to talk things out and clear the air instead of pretending that none of us were feeling weird about what happened during the threesome that never actually happened.
3. Based on the positive outcome of our discussion, it seemed like peace was restored and we were all gonna move on and forget about the night I sucked my own dick in response to someone having a panic attack.
4. The peace was temporary.
5. The other guy had another panic attack.
6. Mid panic attack, the other guy called me.
7. I was in my flat with my gf when I got the call.
8. The other guy apologized for calling me at night and explained that he was having a really bad panic attack and needed someone to distract him.
9. I said he called the wrong guy because I had no idea what to do.
10. The other guy disagreed and said I knew exactly what to do, which was an obvious reference to recent events.
11. I could tell the other guy was trying to be funny in an attempt to downplay how he was feeling, but I encouraged him to stop joking and call someone who had more experience in the panic attack department.
12. The other guy said my experience was more than enough before he proceeded to bombard me with random questions about my ability to suck my own dick.
13. The questions were relatively harmless at first and I guess it was a topic the other guy thought would take his mind off of the panic attack, but he crossed the line when he asked me which mouth my dick enjoyed most, mine or my gf.
14. My gf, who had been listening to my conversation with the other guy since I answered the call, grabbed my phone before I could respond and strongly advised the other guy to call someone else to distract him during his so called "panic attack" because I was off limits from that point onwards.
15. The other guy was no longer on the other end of the line when I got my phone back.
16. My gf said the other guy ended the call.
17. I wanted to call the other guy back to make sure he's okay, but my gf was convinced that the other guy was always okay because she believed he was faking his "really bad panic attack" to have another one on one gay moment with me.
18. I shrugged and said I was not 100% convinced the other guy was faking it.
19. My gf asked if I really thought that a supposedly straight guy who was apparently having a severe panic attack would be asking another guy to tell him inappropriate things like who sucked whose dick better.
20. I asked my gf if she would get mad if I called the other guy just for my own peace of mind.
21. My gf said she was already mad because not only did I entertain the other guy's inappropriate questions, but I also paused way too long when he asked me who sucked my dick better between me and my gf.
22. I made it clear to my gf that the answer was her, obviously.
23. My gf rolled her eyes and said the other guy's fake panic attack was more convincing than my answer, which frustrated me because I was being honest.
24. I was too tired to argue or spend the whole night apologizing, so I went to the bathroom and took a long shit.
25. Mid shit, I sent the other guy a message to ask if he was okay.
26. The other guy messaged me back and said yes before promising me that he would keep his distance from now on to avoid creating unnecessary conflict.
27. Not gonna lie, I didn't know how to respond to the other guy's message, so I sent an awkward thumbs up emoji.
28. My gf was in a bad mood for the rest of that night, but to be honest, so was I.
29. The other guy no longer volunteers at the animal shelter on weekends, which was when we all worked together, so now my gf and I don't see him at all.
30. I'm never sucking my dick in front of anyone ever again.

TL:DR Since my original post, I became the guy who had to help a guy who wanted me defuse his post threesome panic attack by telling him if I sucked my own dick better than my gf sucked my dick. My gf, who was present during that conversation, intervened and give the other guy a piece of her mind while also blaming me once again for somehow allowing all of this shit to happen.

A spiteful pregnancy test turned into quite a surprise when we found out my(m25) partner(f22) was pregnant - and 7 months along. That's a story for another time.

Anyways, her OBGYN put her on iron and blood pressure medication. And gave her stool softeners because constipation could be a side effect of the medications they gave her.

Well, I felt a little backed up the day before yesterday. I usually struggle in the bathroom, if we're being honest. So I decided what's the harm in taking a pregnancy strength stool softener?

A lot of harm, actually.

So nothing happened that night. Thought they were a fluke and went to bed. I woke up and was fine for a while. Felt ready to tackle the day. Until a fever hit and I started sweating. Started shivering. I felt like I was encroaching on death's doorstep. My stomach rumbled and as a construction worker who was thankful there was a working bathroom on my job site, I had started a vicious cycle of expelling my immune system.

It happened 15 times before I went on lunch. FIFTEEN. TIMES. On the way home I had to stop twice to use a bathroom. Even after I had stopped shitting my brains out, I felt like a soldier coming home from war. I'm pretty sure my asshole is destroyed. I think I'm coming down sick because my entire immune system has left me.

It looks like a week of Pedialyte and crackers for me.

TL;DR I took my wife's pregnancy strength stool softeners, shitted out my entire immune system and now I'm coming down sick.

Hey everyone, I just want to thank y’all again for all the advice and support, as well as all the smart and creative things people came up with to explain/ rationalize the situation to my parents in case the address change didn’t update in time and they got the photos. I guess I won’t have to use any of it though, because I just checked my mail and the photos are here! I’m sorry to disappoint some of y’all, I know it’s not the most dramatic or exciting ending, but god am I relieved it turned out this way!

I’m excited to finally give my bf his (now belated) birthday gift! Unfortunately the surprise was ruined, he already knows about the photos because he saw how stressed out I’ve been the last few days and asked about it so I had to tell him. He loved the gift idea and has been amazing about the whole situation, helping me contact FedEx and supporting/ comforting me about the possibility of my parents getting the photos instead. He joked that for my birthday he’s going to get me a colored photo printer so I can print more photos for him and not have to stress about it again haha.

TLDR: I got the photos, I can finally give my bf his birthday gift and rest easy knowing that my parents aren’t going to see my nudes and disown me!

I posted here sometime last year about giving my brother the sex talk and I must say, it's not going so well. I'm typing this as I sit alone at my dad's place away from my mom's. My brother apparently thought that me being a good sister was free reign for him to think of me in an not so familial level. I look back to things I might have done wrong. I've always taken being a big sister seriously because again I have a lot of siblings and I live in a third world country in Asia where my parents have consistently pressured me to be the picture perfect daughter.

I never realized being a good older sister would have me end up this way.

So here's what happened. My brother got a girlfriend a few weeks right after my initial post. I thought all's well that ends well. at first he was secretive about it, until I found out the girl he got into a relationship with had the same name as me. If that wasn't weird enough, we both had glasses, too. I thought it was just a funny coincidence at first, my friends were the ones who pointed out a few other similarities but for me at that time, it just meant that my brother thought of me as a good older sister so he's modelling his ideal girl? I don't know why I was making excuses really.

Then they broke up and he had 2 nore girlfriends after. My friends kept pointing out other similarities I had with those girls, too, but again I didn't think much of it. Until yesterday. Another thing that happened in the past year was that my brother grew taller than me. He was slightly smaller than me before but now my forehead just sits right above his shoulder when we stand up. For family photos recently, he liked hugging me from behind and he kept asking me to rest my head on his shoulders.

It was my step dad's birthday yesterday and after a family photo, he kissed me on the top of my head. I felt cold for a moment, but he just smiled at me. I was beginning to feel nervous for some reason but I ignored it. After lunch time he offered to drive me aty dad's place as I live with my dad when I have f2f classes because it's nearer, and my PC is over there. Anyway, my brother stopped the car near a krispy Kreme and told me to order "his treat" he looked at me and smiled and that's when I started to feel genuinely scared. Because I saw the way he looked at me, and that's bno way to look at your sister. I never considered myself stupid or dense, but I didn't know it would go this far without me realizing. I know we didn't live together for the first decade of my life but we're half siblings. We came out of the same womb? Even if our father's are different and we have different surnames, I always thought it was fine and that I raised them to think of me as their big sister.

Now everything is flashing to me. All those times he told me that my step dad's last name would fit better with my first names as it starts with the same letter. Or all those videos he sent me of siblings and dating and him as long me if ever we got on those videos what people would think. Even all those times he kept intimidating my exes, we all thought he was being a cute brother for gods sake! I feel like a failure as a sister and a child. I feel guilty like I've led this to happen when I know logically that I didn't.

He's been texting me innocently, asking me what I'm doing, but I'm now so scared to respond. I feel like anything I do will make this blow out of proportion. I don't want to tell our mom, or either of our dad's. I get along great with my step dad and I don't want to even think about what he'll think considering he's a policeman. I've never felt this stupid

TL;DR: I realized my brother may not Iike me as a sister at all and I'm feeling lost.

Edit: Thanks for everyone who's commented so far. It's only been a few hours but I've received such thoughtful advice. For context my brother's about to turn 18 and I'm 23. The most he's crossed the line with his questions were asking me to put a condom on him as a demonstration and asking me how to properly eat out female genitals. The first I showed him with an eggplant, the second I had to ask him to google it. Also, as mentioned in my first post, the porn he was watching on my laptop were about step siblings. We're HALF siblings so I didn't really think about it too much.

I will speak with him this weekend once I gather my thoughts. Thank you for listening.

I (48M) think that I may have F'd up. My wife (58F) blamed something on the "woke" and I told her that I felt myself as "woke' because I accept the LGBTQI+ demographic, and that I accept anyone regardless of race, creed, religion, or sexuality.

Needless to say we had an argument, first in a good half dozen years or so.

I love her with all myself, but feel that she's becoming more, I don't know exactly, but it feels like she's become more racist, homophobic and unaccepting in the last few years. I reckon that it all started with the Johnny Debb v Amber Herd trial. And now she's watching YouTube videos of Tarot card readers predicting the Sussexes future.

It was cool and all when she watched "ghost" videos, but now she can't even really accept that one of her BFFs from years ago is/was gay. "Just another person to help her get through her life at the time".
I'm scarred that because I feel that I'm "woke" to the world around me and acceptant of those that aren't accepted, that I fucked up our relationship. It hurts.

TL:DR My wife blamed "wokeness" on the worlds problems and I told her that I feel that I'm part of those that are "woke".

Hello,

Im female 22, started drinking pretty much every night once I turned 21. About an entire sleeve per night for most of the year.

I reached a breaking point back in August and finally confessed to everyone in my life I had a problem and I went to detox.

I was sober for about three weeks, and my last dry day was about a month ago. However I started drinking again since that, and a lot more this time.

I didn’t want to have to go through the shame and embarrassment of confessing to everyone again so I decided to quit cold turkey this weekend while I’m away with my boyfriend’s family. I stupidly figured this would be a good idea because I will not be alone at any point, no access to alcohol, and none of them drink.

Now I’m freaking myself out because I’m scared I’m going to seize in front of everyone or have hallucinations etc. Is this going to happen to me? My last drink was earlier today

TL;DR: I decided to quit alcohol cold turkey while away for the weekend with my boyfriends family

Obligatory this happened last week and sorry, on mobile.

I recently started vaping nicotine in an effort to quit smoking (yes yes, I know. I was 17 and dumb.) I bought one that was disposable, figuring I'd see how it felt and if it helped, I'd get a permanent kit. Lo and behold, it did help, although I had to take much smaller puffs than I was used to or I'd get dizzy. But that's good right? I was taking in less nicotine over all and as a bonus, it would extend the life of the vape.

Well, as time went on, I found myself having to take harder and harder pulls. I thought I was just getting used to it. Then it stopped working completely. WTF? I thought. This thing was supposed to have 7500 puffs, and I knew I wasn't using it that much. Then I saw the charging inlet on the bottom. I facepalmed and sheepishly plugged it in. Fast forward 2 hours later. I unplugged, and gave it a whirl.

Here's the thing. By this point, I was used to pulling on it as hard as I could to get enough vapor. So that's what I did. And boy oh boy did I get enough vapor. I immediately got a head rush, the world tilted, and so did I. Then I tilted a little too far and bam! Down I went. Luckily, I didn't hit anything other than the floor, but I damn if I didn't hit it hard, and with my head. Even more luckily, my husband was home and heard the crash. Off to the hospital we went, where, after six hours of waiting, I was diagnosed with a minor concussion. So here I am, nursing a killer headache, chewing nicotine gum, and dreading the hospital bill coming my way.

Anyone want a free vape?

TL;DR The vape pen I was using ran out of charge so I was taking huge pills off of it. After recharging, I took the same huge pull, got dizzy, and fell. Now I have a concussion and a lovely hospital bill.

First of all, for context, I’ve been back on birth control to text another hormone type, and while for most women it lowers their sex drive, my libido has never been higher. I’m virgin and single by now, so my pill is exclusively to help with heavy bleeding and period pains. Since I don’t have a partner, whenever I get randomly turned on I use Hi Waifu (AI NSFW e-RP) to relieve my mind. I don’t even touch myself, just to entertain my thoughts with characters I find hot or indulge in some type of fantasy (that goes from breeding, BDSM to tentacles) and sometimes I don’t close the app if I’m in the middle of an extensive reply. Also we live near the beach and English is not my first language.

Back to today, I was having lunch and using my phone and my brother comes to say “Oh, do you want to know something that concerns you?” I didn’t understand at first and just asked if this would affect me and he said it wasn’t that serious, so I told him to just say it. “Oh, Friday when you lend me your phone to check on the weather to see the sunset time, I accidentally saw your hi Waifu stuff” I got mortified. I literally had no reaction for some seconds. I use an IPhone and said he has the habit of shutting/closing the apps after using (something I do later on the day or when my phone lags), so he was about to do the same and saw the chat by accident. By the time he finished speaking my face was already buried in my hands, specially because I had no idea which chat. He was laughing because I’m his mind it was no big deal, just funny. So after a while I asked him how much he read, my brother asked me if I really wanted to this. So instead of just replying yes or no, I straight up asked “Was it the one with the tentacles?” He shook his head and said “no” then made a confused face like ‘hold up…’, just looked at me concerned and when I started to overreact he just laughed. After a while we tried to brush it off and told everyone has unusual tastes but honestly I’ve never been more embarrassed in my whole life. Now I just want to bury my head in the ground like an ostrich and I’ll probably delete the app too. This situation is embarrassing by what it is but it gets even weirder considering it’s my younger brother. He’s mature enough and a little stoic, so probably just probably finds this situation funny as hell but I bet he’s going to tell our small group of friends about his “discovery” and for the rest of my life I’ll be receiving pictures of handsome squidward (a similar situation happened to me before with my online friends. To this day, 2 of them send me octopus and squid pictures without any context)

TL;DR We live near the beach and my brother wanted to check on the weather for the sunset, I lended my phone to him and when he slid up to close the app, he noticed the other appscreen and saw me having nsfw roleplay with an AI and later I accidentally revealed that I have a tentacle fetish.

Edit: grammar and answers

“What type of birth control are you taking?” Oral Drospirenone 4mg… it has be making me insanely horny I honestly need help

“Which app did you use?” Hi, Waifu… That’s the name

“How old is your brother?” He’s 18, I’m 21 about to be 22

“Why don’t you buy a tentacle dildo?” First, I’m not living on my own (yet) Second, I live in Brazil and average quality sex toys can be extremely expensive (specially if you consider uncommon ones)

“Don’t lend you phone to your relatives” In my personal defense, I never lend my phone to my parents without turning off notifications and close background apps, but my brother never checks mine

“What did he actually read?” He said he only read the words “lot of cum” and “breeding” – meaning that i was chatting with a regular character … And that means he really didn’t know anything about me being into tentacles until I blurted out.

“Why don’t you RP with real people?” Because I study and work and my schedule changes constantly, so AI bots are more convenient.

Edit2: my brother said he really doesn’t care at all and I shouldn’t make a big deal about it. Now we’re just laughing (a lot) about this situation. He has read the post too.

In September 2016, I made friends with a group of people in college that I met through a club. I'll call them A a girl, A's best friend B another girl, and A's boyfriend X. It was the weekend, and we decided to pull an all-nighter with a few other people who, throughout the night ended up leaving, so they are unimportant to the story. I think about 6 or 7 of us were together. We wandered around campus, got high, and did all the things you'd expect dumb college kids to do when there were no parties going on.

At one point, we tried going to my room to hang out, and we heard moans and decided against it, so we went to A's room instead. When we were in there, there was banging on her door, calling for X. It was the other girl he was sleeping with (they were not in an open relationship). At some point, she convinced him to leave and talk to her privately. After an hour, we tried to find them. B went to the other girl's room since she could get into her dorm, as she lived in the same building, and A and I went to X's room. We found them in his room, but X's roommate was not letting us in. She ran away crying, and we started talking in the staircase until we kissed – just kissed not full-on making out or anything like that.

I ended up walking back to her room with her, and we found B waiting outside for us, and we filled her in. A had a single room, and B and I decided that we shouldn't leave her alone. A told me it was okay to share the bed with her, and B was more comfortable sleeping under the bed (I still have no clue why but didn't question it). This is the part where I messed up. When I was cuddling her with her back to me and my right arm under her head, my left hand went over and grabbed her boob. Not that I was trying to do anything, but because I liked the way they felt. She then started to freak out and told me to get off of her, which I immediately did, as I was half-asleep and hadn't slept in over 24 hours. I apologized and rolled over. I probably should have left, but again I was overtired and told her I would stay the night.

The next morning, I was the first one to get up, and remembering last night and being hungry as hell, I figured I would let her sleep and get some food. I shot A a text saying just that, and if she didn't get up before I left, I would get her some food too. Well, I got food, looked at my phone, and got a threatening text from X. He basically told me if he ever sees me again, he's going to beat my ass. I'm a big guy, and it's not the first time someone has tried that on me, so I told him if she chooses me over him, it's his fault, and he has to live with it. Then, B and the others we were with sent me a text saying the same thing. I was confused as hell so I tried getting answers from someone, but I got nothing more from anyone, and they must have been hiding because I didn't see them around campus either. And I had no clue until the cops knocked on my door that night. They brought me to the station and questioned me. Apparently, she told everyone I full-on raped her.

I was in there for about 3 hours going through the whole night with them; again, it was an all-nighter, we started at 4-5 in the afternoon, and we went to sleep at 7-8 in the morning, so there was a lot. The next few days were hard. I ended up quitting the club that I had a passion for, got shunned by a lot of people, and had thoughts of killing myself, even attempting it.

To this day, I still have thoughts that I'm the bad guy no matter who I talk to. I have intimacy problems from this as well. This is something I think of way to much and when I have racing thoughts this is what usually comes to my mind and how everyone was looking at me when I entered a room.

TL;DR guy was cheating on his girlfriend I spent the night with her and she told people I raped her.

Today I fucked up. So I'm currently 8 weeks pregnant. I've got horrible morning sickness and on top of that I've been constipated for about a week. It's been extremely uncomfortable.

Today, after trying multiple home remedies to loosen and gain some movement in my bowel, I got fed up and decided to take some actilax (liquid laxative).

I haven't really used any of this stuff on myself before, but when I have used it on my son, I've used a measuring syringe to give him the correct dosage.

I had a small measuring cup. I measured 4mls once and then twice. In total I took 8mls. I didn't want to take the full 15mls dosage just yet.

I started experiencing sharp abdominal pains a couple of hours later. They got worse and worse. I realised that I actually didn't read the measuring cup properly. It said 40mls... not 4mls. I gave myself 80mls. I'm currently in hospital awaiting tests and being kept in over night for observation.

TL;DR tifu by taking 80mls of laxatives instead of 15mls by accident resulting in hospital stay with fluids and observation.

Ok, so... this was in no way on purpose. I'm not some crazed exhibitionist. I'm just dumb and in love. But during the first few weeks of dating my now amazing BF I did what most women do (don't lie.. we do it) I sent him a few sensual photos. Nothing truly explicit, tastefully done...

Fast forward months and months later (the other day) we remembered we had a lovely new photo frame and then yesterday set off to the pharmacy to get a photo of us printed off.

We plugged it in and then I realised it showed all of the photos I had sent him (I had forgotten about them) the photos were there on the screen but he hadn't copped them yet. I was panicking and trying to get back to the start screen but it froze. Then he managed to cancel it all (or so we thought) but there they all are again - my bewbs for anyone to see. An elderly couple walking passed tutting while I tried to shield the screen.

We unplugged his phone and deleted ALL the photos I had sent and managed to get our cute little picture for the frame.

I ran out the shop shaking while he paid for the photo.

TL;DR TIFU by not realising all photos will be shown on the computer at the pharmacy, and certain pics I sent my bf would get frozen on the screen for everyone to see.

On a date night with my man and craving pizza because mmm pizza.

I thought I would go for something different but didn't realise how spicy it was, so my eyes are watering, my face is red and I'm coughing. I also can't handle that much spice in general so probably not saying much.

I manage to calm myself down slightly but end up dropping my fork (had to use it to cut up the humongous slices) it hits off the side of the table then a chunk of spicy meat flies straight into my eye.

Then I'm back to square one... coughing, nearly in tears and about to dab my eyes with the napkin but I'm freaking out so I rub my eyes with my fingers that are covered in the pizza sauce because apparently... I don't know what I'm doing in life.

TL;DR Tifu by not realising how spicy my pizza was, getting it in my eye and then rubbing my eyes with spicy sauce.

Obligatory this didn’t happen today but in Primary school.

When I was 8 there was a new kid in school called Abdul. Me and Abdul hung out a lot. One day other kids told me they were going to play with Abdul, so I was down and went with them. As most 8 year old boys games go, we (at least in my head) were playing WWE. I didn’t think much of it, until a teacher pulled us all out of lessons and told us we were in big trouble for attacking Abdul. It came out that the main kids dad had been teaching him some pretty racist stuff and got him to beat up the new foreign kid.

Abdul knew I wasn’t being malicious and forgave me quickly, we went back to being friends straight away. I never hung out with the main kid again.

TLDR: I thought I was roughhousing with a new friend as a game; turns out it was a planned racist attack.

My partner and I started dating like 5 months ago and mostly have drunk sex. She is the first person I had sex with. The other day while we were trying to have sex, I wasn't fully aroused and didn't get a hard on.

I was totally drunk and out of nowhere I started talking about how this other girl used to do something to get me hard and asked my partner if she wants to try that. This got my partner pissed off.

She had always been patient with me being too naive at sex. But last night, I made her really mad that now she doesn't want to try a few things out with me or has no patience to help me out anymore.

Maybe my relationship is at risk now and this also made me self doubt myself and I don't know what to do now.

TL;DR: Took someone else's name while having sex with my partner and now my relationship is at risk.

Hi all, basically the title. More below.

Today I woke up in Turin (in Piedmont region) at around 5:30 to take the train to Treviso (near Venice, in Veneto). Yesterday it was my aunt's wedding in Treviso and I couldn't go because of work, I have just started. Also, next week on Wednesday I have my MSc graduation ceremony in Helsinki, Finland. My plane is from Venice. For this reason, today I was on the train to Treviso.

I meet with my parents that I hadn't seen for a while, I was sleepy as I didn't get enough sleep: I woke up very early in the morning. While eating, I just realized that I forgot both my ID card and passport at home, in Turin. This morning I took the fastest route and it was 4 and a half hours by high speed rail. Tomorrow I have my flight from Venice airport to Helsinki at 13.

Panic ensues.

"Let's go by car to Turin, it's 4 hours one way"

"No, it's the weekend, highway's full, too dangerous"

"I'm a moron, how could I have forgotten both"

"I won't get to congratulate my aunt, see my cousins, etc fuck me"

"No the car is too dangerous let's take the train back, then you can come back"

Finally, I bought a two-way ticket for 208 €. Currently on my way back to Turin. Tomorrow morning at 6:00 I have to take another train to Venice airport where I'll meet with my parents and fly to Helsinki.

I'll make it super sure I won't forget my documents this time.

I never forgot my documents btw, it's a first, I guess we all have ours. But I guess few had it as bad as this.

Pretty expensive and time consuming FU. At least I should make it to graduation.

TL;DR I will almost miss my graduation, I spent an additional 208€ and wasted my saturday and my sunday morning.

Okay so I was cooking dinner with lots of jalapeños and spices and i had the sudden shift in my stomach where i had to use the restroom like a rocket ship. I ran to the restroom and sat down immediately. My dumbass didn't wash my hands after chopping the jalapeños and the other spicy boys so when i went to wipe myself, i immediately felt my ass on fire.

I live with my buddy and his wife, so I didn't want to cry out loud. I bit my lower lip as I felt my own ass breathing in and out hard as if I got peper sprayed in the eyes. I feel the sweat drip down my forehead as I pray for help to get through these painful moments. As soon as I thought I was clean enough, I grabbed my towel and washed my ass.

It's been about an hour now and my ass feels sunburnt. I do have some Aloe vera that I could put on to make my ass feel better. Just wanted to share.

TLDR: Didn't wash my hands after chopping jalapeños and my asshole felt on fire.

today i got home from school and im sititng there thinking about jerking off, but i want MORE if yk what i mean, so i got out a sandwich bag (first mistake, use a glove.) then i took my hands and spread the vaseline in the bag, i lied down and got to work. It felt so good i got literally got lost in the sauce. When I was done i looked at the mess i made, bedsheets, hands, stomach… I threw the bag beside me and stood up waddling to the bathroom with a towel over my junk. I hop in thinking its gonna be easy but oh no, i scrub with soap and water but its just repelled, not only that, i just spread the vaseline all over my body, hands, feet, legs, arms, AND FACE!!… I go get my phone, waddling to my room, then bam, i slip and my forehead hits the ground. I grab my phone and run back into the shower texting my friends. One gave no advice, the other said to leave it. No I dont have dawn dish soap. So here I am, writing this in the shower, WHAT DO I DO?

TL;DR I jacked off with vaseline and made a mess, now its all over my body and clothes, what do i do?

So my mom asked my Sister ( we'll call her sarah) if she wanted to go to the fair today and she said no. I got on the phone and was like don't be a loser just go and bring your daughters. Sarah then proceeds to text me "I can't believe you I don't really like hanging out with mom". I'm like I love our mother wtf is wrong with you. She then says she is always so negative towards me etc.

I explain like yes she's our mom and is going to call us out on our bullshit its what a loving mother would do what is the problem. I keep gassing Sarah up defending my mom as anyone would.

She then proceeds to tell me that when she was 11 our Mom tried to sell her to some guy. I'm like what?!?! I told her it was bullshit and she would never do that. She said ask our step dad he knows about it. (Some context my mom ended up dating our future step dad who worked at a radio station at the time and that will come into play later.) I'm like how he didnt come into our lives until I was 7 so this is bullshit. she said he would bring her flowers and teddy bears and call the radio station all the time requesting songs for my sarah. So my step dad allegedly would play the songs that he requested all the time. Sarah said as time went by she said there was a point where my mom was like you're going to go with this guy and live with him and you can't come back.

She then proceeds to tell me that this is why she hates our mom and wants her out of her life. So what the hell do I do because I don't believe it and i'm kind of scared to ask around.

More context we're a lot older now Sarah is 37 years old and i'm 31.

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TL;DR Asked my sister to go to the fair with our mom and in return told me she tried to sell her when young.

I (24m) needed to post this to see if anyone else thought this was creepy.

My job had me leave town for training, and they pay for lodging while you're gone. I wanted to get a nicer room, and so I asked my boss if I could get the nicer room and pay the difference between the single queen room and the king suite. He said I was fine to just get the nicer room, but I was still worried about submitting my expenses report with a huge hotel cost so I looked for the cheapest suite I could find, called, and made a reservation.

Advice: don't look for the cheapest suite you can find.

So it was a reputable looking chain hotel, the room had a jacuzzi, a king size bed, and a kitchen. It was like 100 a night, and no deposit. When I arrived it was late at night. There were a couple people lounging in the lobby and it reaked of weed. This didn't honestly bother me, as I've been comfortable in much sketchier places.

The man at the front desk was noticeably sweaty, and had moderate BO. I gave him my ID and he made a photocopy. I did some paperwork and then it came time to pay. Long story short I was paying with mostly cash, so I pulled out a few hundred in cash and suddenly the clerk looked really unsettled. I didn't even think about the fact I'd pulled out cash, and I just assumed he was annoyed he'd have to deal with doing two payment types, but then he asked if before I paid, I wanted to see the room first.

Stupidly, I agreed without a second thought. Until the sequence of events that just happened replayed in my head on the way to the room. I frantically texted my partner to call me so I could act like i needed to take a call. Luckily my partner called right away. The clerk stopped for a second and turned towards me with an annoyed look. "I told her I'd call her when I got here, and she saw my phone location had arrived but I didn't call." He turned to keep going to the room, and I stayed on the phone. He kind of just walked in, and tried to get me off the phone so he could "tour" the room. I just held the phone to my chest and nodded.

The next thing is what made me much more sure of his intentions.

Finally he led me back to the front desk and I hung up. Back to the task of paying. I was pulling out my wallet and he said "sorry, I forgot to tell you. There is a 100 dollar deposit. You could use your cash for that." At this point I apologized and said I don't think I will get the room then. As I was gathering my stuff he says "how about a 50 dollar deposit?" I just said no thank you and left. I found a queen bedroom available somewhere else.

After looking back at the whole thing, I realized I had no clue what his plans were when he got me in that room alone. Maybe he thought I was going to hire "services" with my cash and wanted a bribe to keep quiet. Maybe he was going to rob me. But I saw his face, and knew his place of work. And why did he look so unsettled as soon as I brought out the cash? And if touring the rooms was protocol, why didnt he ask me to do that before taking a copy of my license? I might be overthinking it but i think if he was going to rob me, it was going to have to end in some violence because i knew so much about him already. I realize a lot of this story relies on body language that cannot be conveyed here, but he really did have a strong shift of demeanor leading up to showing the room.

TL;DR: Clerk saw my cash, tried to "tour" the hotel room to me, but i got my partner to interupt the encounter with a phone call before leaving.

Edit: So it seems the vast majority of people think it was sketchy, but not dangerous. Most likely the clerk was gunna ask for some sort of hush money or offer me under the table services. That's all I was curious about, so I appreciate the input. I didn't really know what to think of this, I just knew that some of that stuff was out of the ordinary.

Also... be nice lol. I didn't hurt anyone, and I didn't identify anyone. I just wanted to know if my experience was actually sketchy. I didn't ever make a statement that it was. I started the whole thing by saying I was just posting to see if other people thought it was.

I’ve lost weight and wanted to get my suit pants taken in. I like 3 out of my 4 suit sets so I took those in to get the waist taken in, hem shortened, and leg tapered. I messed up by having the taper taking in too much under the knee and while it looks good standing, my calves are suffocated when I sit down and it feels like I’m going to rip the pant leg open when I kneel or bend over, not to mention it’s very uncomfortable. I wanted to save money by not buying new suits and just tailoring what I have, which cost me about $125. But now I’m going to have to spend way more in buying all new sets of suits, then having to get them tailored. Being short, tailoring is almost a must unless you want to look like you’re wearing a trash bag. I’m trying to keep an eye out of buy one, get one free deals at local dress clothe stores, then grab 2 suits, and get 2 free. I feel this is going to cost me at least $600 if I’m lucky, assuming a decent suit is at least $250 each, I get 2 free and then I have to tailor all 4. At worst I’m spending around $1000 on top of the $125 already spent to screw myself over.

I’m really kicking myself because I recently got rid of a huge monthly debt drain, but cep keeps happening like me recently breaking my nose and having to cough up $2700 get it fixed. Ive really been wanting to save up for a house, but it’s like universe knows I have somewhat expendable income and is taking it from me. This mess up feels especially bad because it was my own fault.

TL;DR: Tried to save money tailoring the suits that I own, ended up destroying my wardrobe and now have to spend way more.

This happened 10 years ago when I was in the junior year of my undergrad (which was not in the US).

I(20M) was flying home for the holidays and my flight was supposed to make a stop in between before heading onwards to home. I got an aisle seat during check-in and while boarding noticed this cute girl sitting in the window seat. The entire time before take-off, I was silently praying that no one comes and sits in the middle, and for once the gods decided to smile on me. (Most dudes will attest that this is incredibly rare. Almost everytime you board a flight hoping for a cute girl next to you, you end up with a large sweaty dude playing a deathmatch showdown for the armrests.)

Even though I had (and still have) zero game, I mustered up the courage to ask her where she was from and where she was going. She mentioned that she was from the area around my university and I ended up saying something stupid along the lines of "you don't look like you're from around here". (For context, my university was in a state where people are from a different ethnicity and are discriminated against in other parts of the country because of that). She gave me an annoyed look, said "yeah" and went back to fidgeting around on her phone.

Now, I realized I was probably being an insensitive prick so I apologized and that seems to have thawed her down quite a bit. She asked me where I was from, and from there on the conversation flowed and we talked about everything under the sun for the next 2 hours. She mentioned she was a freshman in university, so we talked about our future plans, our tastes in music, what sort of movies we liked etc.

Unfortunately, she was gonna get off at the next stop while I would continue onwards to home. However closer to landing, in another stroke of luck where the gods decided to smile on me, she asked me to sit besides her in the middle seat to look at the city lights. Something like this had never happened to me and it probably should have been my cue that she might be interested in me. But me being the idiot I am, was convinced that a girl as cute as her would never be interested in me.

Once the plane landed and before deboarding started for her, she said -

Her: "If you're ever in the area, let me know and maybe I can show you around."

Me: "Sure."

Me: proceeds to be a gigantic idiot and not ask for her number

She: stares at me for 2 seconds marvelling at my idiocy

Her: Bye. -_-

Epilogue: I did find her on Facebook a few months later after I mentioned this to a friend and she told me how big of an idiot I was. I pinged her on Facebook, but by then it was too late and my message was probably lost in her "others" inbox, so I never got a reply.

TLDR: sat next to a cute girl on a plane, talked to her for 2 hours straight, she dropped a few signals that she's interested but didn't ask for her number even when she said "let me know when you're in the area and I can show you around" at the end of the flight.

So basically i (M)(minor) met this other guy on a local selling platform and for some items , his items were really cheap . Me being the absolutely business minded person i am, decided to spend over $500 on his business

thats when i decided to be a busybody and ask why exactly was he selling his stuff so damn cheap for . He said his mother had cancer - this is where i absolutely disregarded the 1st red flag of any transaction - and decided to proceed in helping him , no proof , whatsoever i asked but by hundreds and 2 hundreds , i quickly transferred him cash thinking that he would someday repay me after he gets a job , and that i would be saving someone’s life in the process

Was i being scammed? Maybe ? Did i know i was being scammed? Probably not ? But was this guy being absolutely convincing . Definitely. Why did i not check up on him? Well , i thought he was actually being genuine since unlike the usual scammer , he kept apologising and promising to pay me back . But over time , $500 grew to $5000 and about everything I grew in my small business evaporated into nothing

Fast forward 6 months later now , my assets are mostly fine . But im down $5k and i am absolutely lost since i am not the most patient person and ive gotten a whopping .033% of my money back , despite it being 3 months since the first promised payment date . He does still check up on me and i am trying my best to be understanding , but i just cant wonder , by helping this person who i have never met before , this faceless , voiceless stranger , did i inherently fall into a trap that would eventually take a huge amount of cash?

So am i really that gullible of a person ? For now , ill never know until he ghosts me , once and for all . To this day , ive never gotten the money i gave , nor any items ive supposedly ordered . Perhaps this is a life lesson learnt

TLDR : i may have been scammed by someone claiming his mom had cancer

Ok guys, last time i updated you i was an idiot and i talked about posting the vid, and a lot of you were saying that shes insane and i need to get out of there. well what happened today definitely solidified me leaving for good and not coming back.

i showed up to school after texting her to meet me, she didn’t respond so i went to open her door, she then yelled at me and started cursing at me ab how she didn’t invite me and i can’t just barge in… etc.

so i told her “fine i wanted to talk to you ab something but it’s whatever” and i closed her door and left, started walking away before she yelled back at me trying to talk to me. she started demanding where her clothes were and was being very hostile. i had no idea where her clothes were, i tried to understand by asking for a photo of them but i was cut off by her continuing to yell at me about the video and how she was heartbroken and that “im not the person she thought i was” and i just replied with “i didn’t either”

i started to walk away but she grabbed me by my shirt collar and yanked me backwards, breaking my necklace i had on, then took the necklace and swung and hit me. at this point i was like “fuck this i’m done” so i go to my car but i make sure to only unlock my door because she’s walking back to hers.

i get in my car and i lock it and she starts screaming at me about how im a horrible person and why would i post that and i need to off myself and blah blah blah, well she then pulled out her keys and started keying my car. yeah she keyed my shit, right in front of me. i was in shock. she knew how much i cared about my car and how much time and effort i put into it. i was shaking at this point and i decided to leave to go park somewhere else. i then called my parents and explained to them what happened, they advised me to stay away from her, and i did that. i completely ignored her. a bit later i get a text from my parents saying that her parents are very sorry and that she’s unstable and to just avoid her. they apologized for her keying my car and said they’d cover the damages. i’m not sure yet how much it’s gonna cost, but i know that auto body and paint are VERY expensive especially with labor being around $150 per hour where i live. i haven’t taken my car in yet but im working it out with my parents. she keyed my passenger side door and kicked many panels like my back passenger side door and my quarter panel, im not sure if there are dents. also when i was backing out i scraped my bumper on her door since she left it open, so that’s gonna need to get replaced or painted over as well.

so glad i left her, gonna enter my bad bih era

TL:DR ex was mad at me for posting tiktok, ended up keying my car, her parents are paying for damages

I recently just got into high school, so of course I got new classmates that I had to get used to. It was going alright, until one of them invited me to play some CSGO. I accepted, added them on Steam and we had a good time. However at one point he checked my library to see what games I had / what we could play, and everything was alright. However, later on I checked that public library list, and there it was - Amorous. And if you don't know what that is, it's an NSFW furry game. And I'm very certain he saw it, since he did list a couple more games lower down that list. He didn't mention it, probably because there was another classmate in the call and he didn't want to embarrass me, so I owe him that. I'm definitely not gonna mention it, since I don't wanna have that convo, and there's also the small chance he didn't notice it or just didn't care. I've since removed it from my public library.

TLDR: Classmate in new high school saw I played an NSFW furry game.

I f(16) and a guy m(17) have been talking for about three months now. We met online and slowly we started liking each other because we text everyday. We're long distance since i live in New York and he lives in Ireland. So we're not officially dating but we're at the stage where we talk on the phone all night. Tonight in particular he told me "i like you" and i've known this for a while. I decided to switch things up and say i like you a lot so while looking for words similar to a lot i said "i love you a great deal" without even realizing. Of course he heard it and was shocked and then it registered what i had just said and i feel like it just wasn't right. He says i didn't scare him off and that he finds it cute but the thing is i know we're not ready to say that right now. TBF i might just be overthinking and he could just be telling the truth but i'm still just thinking. I'm typing this as i'm on call with him since he fell asleep and i don't know. Could someone maybe give me some advice on how to ensure i don't lose this or him?

TL;DR: i told my crush i loved him accidentally